I'm not sure what it would be like to jump from here..

I've thought about the climb to the roof
looking down..looking down
what would go through my brain on the way down
would there be a second where I felt pain?
or saw my brain on the concrete?

tommorow i'll just look down again. very carefully.

i'm so fucking scared...i wish i was confident

but i have to be strong. i have to DO THE RIGHT THING

every time it looks better down there and worse up here. i couldn't do it so easily..it would take mental preperation. but isn't that whatt i'm doing?

isn't that what i'm ready for?