my body feels too alive. it's disgusting to feel my heart beat and my muscles twitch, when i pay attention to them. i wish they weren't there to keep me alive. i'm just a series of parts.

i don't want it. i never really did. even before my brain was sick. if my brain was ever not sick, you know..

if i had a healthier body maybe i could control it more. i think i'm supposed to be able to do that?...

i should be able to make it do the things they want it to do..and be able to use it for the things they want to use it for

i'm sorry i take up so much space